Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Randomize
