the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Randomize