bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
