I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
