i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
