Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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