Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
