If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
