I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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