What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
