Girls should come with a carfax report
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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