it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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