Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
