If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How external is "for external use only"?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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