I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
