I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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