I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
