i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
