He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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