Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I color on your dick again?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
