Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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