Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
