What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
