Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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