I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
