Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
