forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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