Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
