WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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