I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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