it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
