forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
