Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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