Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
