Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we have pet lesbian snakes
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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