I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
