So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
