She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
