i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
