actually, I'm a sock model
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
