I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hippo gnu deer
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
