If that was your dad, he is hot
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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