I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Let's paint friendship bongs
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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