I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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