Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
