Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
