are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
