You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
