i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
