i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
